Message in a Bottle

Digging for sunken treasure has a chance to yield a Message in a Bottle from an unknown castaway. 20 messages have been identified, all addressed "Dearest Audrey".

List of messages

Click below to reveal the spoiler messages! [spoiler]
* Dearest Audrey, Each day that passes is immensely terrible, painful and sad. Getting away from you just didn't improve anything.
* Dearest Audrey, How's your day going? I'm good, BUT I'VE BEEN STRANDED FOR 20 YEARS! Thanks for your response.
* Dearest Audrey, I don't know how to spell your name, nor do I know you, but I do know that I love you, I feel like I have a mutual connection. After you ordered the pizza with cheezy crust and pinapple I just lost it. Oh no Clair you got shot... I mean Audrey. I don't mind that you're chunky.
* Dearest Audrey, I drank all my beer
* Dearest Audrey, I fear this may be my last attempt at finding help. I just want you to know... I always... loved... your sister.
* Dearest Audrey, I find myself stranded on a barren island.
An enderdragon took me here, please rescue me.
* Dearest Audrey, I have no internet so I am sending you a bottle.
* Dearest Audrey, I know exactly who you are - play along. I don't have any money. I burned it all trying to make a fire. But I can tell you I've developed a very particular set of skills. Skills that'll make Bear Grylls quake in his boots.
* Dearest Audrey, I mean Hannah... wait, no... is it Denise? ...Anyway, I love you.
* Dearest Audrey, I'm in the sink sand. If you find my head, hang it on the wall of fame.
* Dearest Audrey, I'm stranded in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by things that aren't cubic.
* Dearest Audrey, I seem to have run out of clean water, if you could return this bottle with something to drink that would be wonderful.
* Dearest Audrey, I write this on paper made from native plants and ink from a squid I wrangled. I like it here. I found a dungeon. I'm setting up a mob grinder and never coming home.
* Dearest Audrey, I've been here for 3 months and after several attempts to find food, shelter, or even enough water... I'm giving up. Tell my family I love them, but most importantly, Audrey, I love you.
* Dearest Audrey, My Boat was sunk by a lily-pad and now I'm stuck on this island.
* Dearest Audrey, punching wood for logs doesn't work in real life.
* Dearest Audrey, Put the money in the bag.
* Dearest Audrey, The compass you sent me seems to only point in the direction of our love, but that seems to have vanished long ago. Please, get help, even if it's the last thing you do.
* Dearest Audrey, What's your phone number; bottled messages are hard to make!
* Dearest Audrey, when I listen to the ocean, all I hear is your snoring and I can't sleep. Please silence your snoring... please, I need sleep.

* Dearest Audrey, Each day that passes is immensely terrible, painful and sad. Getting away from you just didn't improve anything.
* Dearest Audrey, How's your day going? I'm good, BUT I'VE BEEN STRANDED FOR 20 YEARS! Thanks for your response.
* Dearest Audrey, I don't know how to spell your name, nor do I know you, but I do know that I love you, I feel like I have a mutual connection. After you ordered the pizza with cheezy crust and pinapple I just lost it. Oh no Clair you got shot... I mean Audrey. I don't mind that you're chunky.
* Dearest Audrey, I drank all my beer
* Dearest Audrey, I fear this may be my last attempt at finding help. I just want you to know... I always... loved... your sister.
* Dearest Audrey, I find myself stranded on a barren island.
An enderdragon took me here, please rescue me.
* Dearest Audrey, I have no internet so I am sending you a bottle.
* Dearest Audrey, I know exactly who you are - play along. I don't have any money. I burned it all trying to make a fire. But I can tell you I've developed a very particular set of skills. Skills that'll make Bear Grylls quake in his boots.
* Dearest Audrey, I mean Hannah... wait, no... is it Denise? ...Anyway, I love you.
* Dearest Audrey, I'm in the sink sand. If you find my head, hang it on the wall of fame.
* Dearest Audrey, I'm stranded in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by things that aren't cubic.
* Dearest Audrey, I seem to have run out of clean water, if you could return this bottle with something to drink that would be wonderful.
* Dearest Audrey, I write this on paper made from native plants and ink from a squid I wrangled. I like it here. I found a dungeon. I'm setting up a mob grinder and never coming home.
* Dearest Audrey, I've been here for 3 months and after several attempts to find food, shelter, or even enough water... I'm giving up. Tell my family I love them, but most importantly, Audrey, I love you.
* Dearest Audrey, My Boat was sunk by a lily-pad and now I'm stuck on this island.
* Dearest Audrey, punching wood for logs doesn't work in real life.
* Dearest Audrey, Put the money in the bag.
* Dearest Audrey, The compass you sent me seems to only point in the direction of our love, but that seems to have vanished long ago. Please, get help, even if it's the last thing you do.
* Dearest Audrey, What's your phone number; bottled messages are hard to make!
* Dearest Audrey, when I listen to the ocean, all I hear is your snoring and I can't sleep. Please silence your snoring... please, I need sleep.